this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
