At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
