I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Randomize
