I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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