Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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