The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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