Umm I'm too high to move.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
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All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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