But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
