WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
