I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Randomize
