just tell him i said nine months
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize