Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize