PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
