I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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