I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
