I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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