that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
