I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
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