so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
