p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Randomize
