i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
