My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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