We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
