He had one of those small greek statue penises
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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