Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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