i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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