Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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