I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
