I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
