so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I have aggressive nipples.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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