Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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