True but thats because hes a fetus.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
