We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
