No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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