8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I will die if light touches me.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
