..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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