No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize