i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
