Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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