So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
