I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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