i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
