i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
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