College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
