Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
