I am in a vortex of obligation.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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