No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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