Lets date for the summer
Dont love me in September.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i used baking grease as lip gloss
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is