Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!

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  (248): Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!! http://tfl.nu/kly1
  Replies (2) Good night (1158) Bad night (888)
• Favorite

  (276): View more from Virginia

  So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!

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  (276): So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job! http://tfl.nu/fkyk
  Replies (11) Good night (3911) Bad night (983)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter

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  (561): I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter http://tfl.nu/r170
  Replies (18) Good night (1055) Bad night (4919)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.

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  (214): I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday. http://tfl.nu/w2er
  Replies (24) Good night (2077) Bad night (5206)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.

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  (917): level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed. http://tfl.nu/i2kx
  Replies (25) Good night (4509) Bad night (2770)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.

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  (337): Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird. http://tfl.nu/9vhr
  Replies (12) Good night (2566) Bad night (1296)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.

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  (519): No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike. http://tfl.nu/0ndc
  Replies (15) Good night (878) Bad night (1855)
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?

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  (901): No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants? http://tfl.nu/d3zx
  Replies (1) Good night (1116) Bad night (567)
• Favorite

  (229): View more from Georgia

  She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.

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  (229): She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather. http://tfl.nu/lq1l
  Replies (10) Good night (1404) Bad night (680)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...

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  (412): You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex... http://tfl.nu/wlmu
  Replies (12) Good night (2981) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other

  (1-979): View more from Texas

  LOL its 11 am

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  (979): Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other (1-979): LOL its 11 am http://tfl.nu/yfdw
  Replies (7) Good night (1203) Bad night (473)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.

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  (360): Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes. http://tfl.nu/mtcl
  Replies (1) Good night (723) Bad night (331)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.

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  (479): I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger. http://tfl.nu/svei
  Replies (3) Good night (676) Bad night (248)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  So much Jack, so little girl.

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  (630): So much Jack, so little girl. http://tfl.nu/5ged
  Replies (2) Good night (433) Bad night (199)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...

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  (949): Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40... http://tfl.nu/80uw
  Replies (3) Good night (225) Bad night (188)

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