Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
