Texts From Last Night

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  (410): View more from Maryland

  he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.

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  (410): he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE. http://tfl.nu/pbaf
  Replies (68) Good night (3122) Bad night (582)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again

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  (508): Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again http://tfl.nu/am23
  Replies (64) Good night (3351) Bad night (982)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?

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  (732): wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns? http://tfl.nu/gvvk
  Replies (51) Good night (3242) Bad night (1492)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I guess God knew he was going to be bald...

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  (281): What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh? (832): I guess God knew he was going to be bald... http://tfl.nu/ipcy
  Replies (35) Good night (3334) Bad night (600)
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  (310): View more from California

  I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"

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  (310): I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers" http://tfl.nu/rpqk
  Replies (11) Good night (799) Bad night (2447)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??

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  (847): hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score?? http://tfl.nu/pp8r
  Replies (146) Good night (1087) Bad night (5061)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all

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  (214): A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all http://tfl.nu/e59p
  Replies (26) Good night (4995) Bad night (1005)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.

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  (407): She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it. http://tfl.nu/q87n
  Replies (23) Good night (1543) Bad night (6819)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.

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  (970): found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night. http://tfl.nu/fgij
  Replies (1) Good night (2036) Bad night (805)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker

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  (208): the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker http://tfl.nu/9orb
  Replies (6) Good night (2180) Bad night (1016)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...

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  (903): I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth... http://tfl.nu/u93t
  Replies (7) Good night (2500) Bad night (1075)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean

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  (802): Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean http://tfl.nu/dmnd
  Replies (9) Good night (1397) Bad night (938)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?

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  (937): I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night? http://tfl.nu/ghkw
  Replies (2) Good night (256) Bad night (785)
• Favorite

  (613): View more from Ontario

  Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?

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  (613): Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza? http://tfl.nu/8k2m
  Replies (4) Good night (632) Bad night (330)
• Favorite

  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.

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  (413): I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do. http://tfl.nu/n7xt
  Replies (0) Good night (466) Bad night (140)

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