Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
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