Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
