i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
