week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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