Your face is a jimmy john
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Randomize
