i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
there is glitter all over my balls
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