Where did you get a picture of my penis
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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