oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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