Cold hands, warm shart.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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