I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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