I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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