hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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